all that matters

Today I was moved to uncontrollable tears after receiving a card from my grandmother. It was a valentine's card. Inside was a simple message saying that it would probably be the last card she sends but that she loves me. (My grandmom is in her 90s.) It made me sad to think about her not being around for very much longer. It also made me think about how my mother is no longer around. And at the same time I felt sad, I also felt lucky for being so loved by some amazing women. When you lose people close to you, you reach a moment of clarity that shows you what's truly important, love. Whether you're coming or going into the world, the only thing you can give or receive is love. It's all that matters.

If there is a silver lining to the way my mother died, it is that we knew it was coming and we got to share our feelings and make our peace. One of the things she told my dad was "All I care about is you, the kids, and my family. Nothing else matters." Not even death.

The world is far from perfect. And I am realistic enough not to expect it ever to be a utopian society. But I know that I personally want to spread as much positive energy I can and hope that I receive even half of it in return.

so back to thesis and how this relates... My thesis is going to be about promoting positive change and providing alternative perspectives to outdated views through the use of art and humor. The views that I'm referring to are ones in the social-political arena and not necessarily to views within the art system. Though they might inadvertently factor into the conversation, they are not my intended focus. I'm more concerned with promoting love. and the right to love, regardless of color, religion, orientation, language. I'm concerned with people trying to make the most of life and enjoying it while they can. Life is short. But that doesn't have to be scary or depressing. It should be freeing.

I'm still working out specific visuals but I like the idea of using subtle hints that remind us of mortality but with humorist twists that also remind us to laugh.

I don't expect to be the quintessential band-aide that heals the world. But I'd rather spread love than hate.

And if I have any religious/spiritual views it would be this... that the universe is governed by a rhythm of energy. There is positive and negative and the two should exist in a balance. I guess it's a Taoist view. So perhaps Taoism is something I should research more of. and not just for thesis purposes.