I decided to play around with the post-it images anyway. I took a couple with similar 'rock on' hand gestures and arranged them so they made a good composition. Then traced them with positive and negative shapes with the idea that I'll eventually turn them into stencils. I also want to use text and some other design elements but not sure what just yet and they might be other layers/colors. This also might just be an experimental image to get me started. I started one of my mom but i'm not sold on the composition yet.

Studio thinking...

Today its raining. Rainy days are the perfect studio days because I'm not distracted by beautiful weather. If i can't go outside and play, i might as well play in the studio.
Lately, most of my studio time has spent mostly sitting, staring and thinking...little time creating. But at least if i'm thinking, i can write some of the thoughts...

Urban Poetry. A title or phrase i've been pondering. It conveys my feelings towards urban environments as well some of the art found in those environments. It begins to give some structure to the art i'm looking at and what i'm trying to create while still giving some room to play around with specific ideas and themes. Unfortunately, the specific ideas are hard to organize so I think staying general with my thesis paper will be best as I continue to experiment with the work. Being too general isn't good either but calling the work Urban Poetry narrows it just enough.

of course, using the word Urban suggest the presence of the city so the work either has to have visual elements of city life or has to actually appear somewhere in the city... so do i need to spend more time in the studio or in the streets? The fact that graffiti is technically illegal causes some hesitation. also, writing on a public blog about what I may or may not do in the streets is probably not a smart way to not get in trouble... however, street art is losing a lot of its stigmas and becoming a more accepted art genre and most of the artists involved got so big from posting their work online...
But then that's got me thinking... if street art is becoming more mainstream, does that mean its losing its "cool" factor? if the rebellious undertones from which it started are now a celebrated as a standard, is it time for a new wave of rebellion? the pattern goes: rebels, avant garde, mainstream, commodity. Is there a way of keeping it new and fresh to hold of the final stage? Is there a way to avoid that stage and make a new pattern? or is it just time to restart the cycle with something completely new?
Given that I have no idea how to restart a new cycle, for the moment I think i'll stick it out and try to keep the current one fresh with my own perspectives. ...which are...umm... yeah...

i'm taking a look around my studio... I have my city grids...that didn't turn out quite like i had hoped but i still think there might be a way of using them somehow... Another grid pattern is of the post-it drawings. Grids...a way of my mind creating structure and order in an otherwise chaotic brain? maybe. Back to the post-its... the ones on my wall are portraits..of me, family and friends. People. Simple sketches made from candid photos. I want to do something with them but they are kind of perfect on their own.

I have a couple drawings of dead birds and "dead" bikes. Definitely some mortality symbols. Which make a connection to the memorial pieces i've been trying to do for my mom. So... memorial. mortality. ephemeral. temporary. Connects to street art really well and the memorial sites. I kinda want to make huge memorial pieces about my mom... might be a somewhat self serving desire to see her face still in the world but whatever. I could use some of the old pictures I have of her when she was younger, and the ones with me and my family... I envision a wheat paste print with maybe some other collaged images and symbols having to do with my mom, mortality and transcendence. But need to be careful not to ripoff the style of Swoon. But I'd say she's a big inspiration and most likely a person of note for my thesis paper.
I could also apply this idea or aesthetic to the images of people from the post-its. It wouldn't really be a memorial images then. But i still think i could get some fun collages from combining some of the images.

I also still have notes that I've collected from the street that I've tried to work with before. I still want to play with them. The note that I am really drawn to is the one that starts out "You keep me a rebel" the rest of it is ok, kind of a silly girls love poem, but that first line hits me. So i'm gonna steal it and use it somehow. Going back to Urban Poetry. and maybe this is where I can connect images and text. Maybe come up with more lines that have a similar feel. Make my own love letters to the city, people, my mom.


A more random thought I've had is incorporating video. Some people really liked the wave video I did after Ireland. I liked how it turned out but it was a pain to edit. Still, I've had thoughts of working with it again. I've taken a couple short videos while riding public transportation. It started as a quick way to capture images of the city and this idea of moving through the city but I need to develop the concepts behind it to know what i'm trying to say with it to know how to edit it. But it could be interesting to play with projecting video over the other images. Don't know if this is trying to force a connection to my other ideas.
I also have been thinking what I want to see for the final show and I have this idea of building a wall that I can cover as if it were an outside wall. and then I don't have to worry about destroying a gallery wall. Plus if i do want to have video, I could make a fixture in which to mount a video display. Or instead of a wall, I could build a shed-like structure... this could all be an influence of watching too much DIY network and getting an itch to build something. But it could be fun to live in the structure those last few days of the semester and make art all over it... CRAZY! but fun.
I also want to make an interactive element... kinda like with my undergrad thesis show... but not sure what... that'll have to come later.

And then there's always unicorns and dinosaurs...

Every time I redefine my thesis I get a little bit closer to what the final paper and work will be about. This is the latest statement....

A reflective glance on urban contemporary life as it appears to me and providing a humorous if not positive take on common concerns about love, death, and daily survival.

Warhol quotes...

Business art is the step that comes after Art. I started as a commercial artist, and I want to finish as a business artist. After I did the thing called "art" or whatever it's called, I went into business art. I wanted to be an Art Businessman or Business Artist. Being good in business is the most facinating kind of art. During the hippie era people put down the idea of business -- they'd say "Money s bad," and "Working is bad." but making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.

I loved working when I worked at comercial art and they told you what to do and how to do it and all you had to do was correct it and they'd say yes or no. The hard thing is when you have to dream up the tasteless things to do on your own.

I would rather watch someone buy their underwear than read a book they wrote.

Why do people think artists are special? It's just another job.

sketchy ideas

I've been doing a lot of writing but i haven't done a lot of making art. Not full pieces anyway. I have a few doodle ideas including the coffee doodle cup I did in class today.

last weeks in class doodle




coffee doodle cup

Art is business. Art is my chosen field of occupation. Of course I'm going to try to make money. The people that turn it into a big deal and an issue of commodity are the art critics and the art market. Rich dudes with money drive up prices in an auction, which is usually a secondary sale so it's not like the artist is seeing that money, and the only reason they are bidding on it is because they read an article in artforum that was praising the piece for being so avante garde and blah blah blah... Do you think any of them would have tried to buy it if i hadn't been explained to them or if someone hadn't given it value? Probably not. Artists used to poke fun at this but i think a lot of them have started to realize that poking fun at them doesn't change anything, they gobble up that shit even more. I mean, Banky's print Morons, which sold at a Sotheby's auction, is proof of that. Written is "I can't believe you morons actually buy this shit"


So i think artists are catching on that it is futile to create art that attacks critics and commodity. That's what they want. They need that argument to be 2 sided in order for them to survive. But the artist doesn't really need the critic as much as they need us. We can manage to find ways to sell work for reasonable prices because the average person is more intelligent than you might think. They don't have to have someone tell them its significant for them to buy it. They'll buy it if they can find some significance to themselves. So rather than appealing to the critic, artists have begun to appeal to the public. Humor is extremely appealing and easily achieved by taking something familiar (relatable) and mashing it with an unexpected twist. It's simple, yet clever. And just because an idea is simple and easy to understand doesn't mean its viewed briefly and dismissed quickly. The more clever the twist or humorous the more people want to pass on the idea to others. Just look at facebook and the internet memes that everyone posts and re-posts. People like to laugh and share that laughter.

So the death of art criticism is perhaps a significant topic of discussion...but not for artists. That's for the critics to worry about. And that's what they love to do, talk and assert their opinions. But i'm just gonna go continue making art for the people about the people.

Perhaps a new artist/thesis statement...?

When I make art, I don't concern myself with questions of modernity. I am more concerned with questions of humanity. I believe art can be a beautiful, compelling tool to convey those questions. I also believe in the saying, "a picture can say a thousand words." An important principle I learned while working as a designer is that the more simply you can convey a message, the more powerful the impact and likelihood that it will reach it's intended audience. This works whether selling a product or an idea. The latter point is where art and design collide. Art is a business of selling ideas. Forget about the actually selling of the canvas or whatever material, just in viewing the piece, the viewer either buys into the idea or not. The stronger the piece, the clearer the message, the more relatable to the current culture, the more likely the viewer will buy -- appreciate -- the idea.
Typically, art is seen as a high cultured product, available to and only understood by a wealthy and or intellectual crowd. Design, however, is for everyone. The more it can reach, the better. But I have noticed that in the last few years that distinction doesn't quite hold up anymore. The lines of art and design have been blurring for quite a while. An early instance was with minimalism and it's object-like simplicity. But the more recent blurs come from the street art culture gaining in popularity. Within its name, Street Art classifies any art done in the streets but but it can be broken down into subcategories based on different methodologies. One of the rules of thought behind art done in the streets was that art should be for everyone to view and understand. It could be viewed as a way of beautifying a neighborhood and bringing the community together. Another rule of thought, one that could be categorized as subvertising (subversive advertising), was in reaction to the overwhelming level of branding and corporate advertising seen on billboards and posters throughout mostly urban environments. The subversive artists recognized the impact of semiotics involved in advertising and therefore began to use the same design language to promote there own "products." Here lies another divergence, where some chose the path to comment directly on the corporatization of America (and other western cultures), or broader political statements beyond the problems of the economy, others chose to focus in on human connections and the reality of everyday life. And then there are those who just want to make a quick laugh or smile with an odd twist on an image or its unexpected placement.
But the real irony of it all is that in their increased acceptance and popularity, these artists that were creating in the street are now creating for the gallery and even selling actual products in the form of t-shirts and toys. This doesn't necessarily mean they are selling out. But it does mean there has been a big change in the art world. There are still those artists that will sell a piece at auction for thousands to millions of dollars, but there is also a growing number of artists selling affordable prints, clothing, and other products keeping true to the thought of art also being for the underprivileged, for the uneducated, for everyone.

So the point and relevance to me and my work, well, I see myself also on that fence between art and design but rather than choosing sides, I'm embracing both. As I mentioned before, I'm interested in humanity, human experiences, and promoting a sense of hope amidst the struggle that life often is. I'm interested in love, and a person's right to love. I'm interested in making the most of life while you can and appreciating life's beautiful quirks while not getting too hung up on its pitfalls. I'm interesting in more laughter than tears. I'm interested in getting people to rethink their old patterns and make more positive changes to their surroundings. And I hope to promote all these ideas within my own artistic campaign.

My Message to the World

"Death is always growing near, but I choose laughter over tears, and I choose love over fear."

Since my mother's passing almost 2 years ago, I've been tip-toeing around the concept of mortality, especially during my time in Ireland. It was Tim Jones that told me about the latin phrase 'momento mori' which roughly means, 'remember your mortality' or 'remember you will die.' Even though I was interested in the idea, I was hesitant to delve too deeply into it because I don't think i was emotionally ready for it. I was also concerned about getting into a depressing subject matter because I'm not at all a dark and moody person. I try to be generally positive and humor is one of my best ways of expressing myself.
But I've greatly matured in the last year and I'm coming to terms with death as a human inevitability. And even though i still have my days where I really miss my mom and upset that shes gone, I've made great strides in finding peace with it. What helps is looking back on the great moments and the love my mother had for me and how lucky i am to have had all that. I think about how I'm lucky to still be here myself and all the love and good that I can still give.
I've also noticed a trend in the obsession with the future and apocalyptic doom. I'd like to acknowledge that doom but also shine a positive light to make what time we have left as happy and enjoyable as we can. I want to people to see the things that really matter (like love) and not to sweat the little things you have no control over.
As i mentioned before, i don't expect to create world peace or a utopian society. But some people seem to be filled with so much negative energy and I want to balance some of that out with positive energy. I truly believe in an energy balance in the universe. And I want to play with positive and negative space in creating my images to emphasize this point.

Books!

The books I ordered came today! i'm hoping i can read them and write up the rest of my proposal before the end of the week.

all that matters

Today I was moved to uncontrollable tears after receiving a card from my grandmother. It was a valentine's card. Inside was a simple message saying that it would probably be the last card she sends but that she loves me. (My grandmom is in her 90s.) It made me sad to think about her not being around for very much longer. It also made me think about how my mother is no longer around. And at the same time I felt sad, I also felt lucky for being so loved by some amazing women. When you lose people close to you, you reach a moment of clarity that shows you what's truly important, love. Whether you're coming or going into the world, the only thing you can give or receive is love. It's all that matters.

If there is a silver lining to the way my mother died, it is that we knew it was coming and we got to share our feelings and make our peace. One of the things she told my dad was "All I care about is you, the kids, and my family. Nothing else matters." Not even death.

The world is far from perfect. And I am realistic enough not to expect it ever to be a utopian society. But I know that I personally want to spread as much positive energy I can and hope that I receive even half of it in return.

so back to thesis and how this relates... My thesis is going to be about promoting positive change and providing alternative perspectives to outdated views through the use of art and humor. The views that I'm referring to are ones in the social-political arena and not necessarily to views within the art system. Though they might inadvertently factor into the conversation, they are not my intended focus. I'm more concerned with promoting love. and the right to love, regardless of color, religion, orientation, language. I'm concerned with people trying to make the most of life and enjoying it while they can. Life is short. But that doesn't have to be scary or depressing. It should be freeing.

I'm still working out specific visuals but I like the idea of using subtle hints that remind us of mortality but with humorist twists that also remind us to laugh.

I don't expect to be the quintessential band-aide that heals the world. But I'd rather spread love than hate.

And if I have any religious/spiritual views it would be this... that the universe is governed by a rhythm of energy. There is positive and negative and the two should exist in a balance. I guess it's a Taoist view. So perhaps Taoism is something I should research more of. and not just for thesis purposes.

recent graphic illustration

Now taking a look back at some of the things i've done in grad school that still fit a similar graphic style....









Next step...
Figuring how can I bring these ideas (conceptual and visual) together.

Pre grad graphic illustration

I decided to look back at some of the design stuff i was working on before grad school. I didn't seem to have such a hard time coming up with ideas then. But i didn't have anyone to explain myself to. I had an idea and just went for it. Equality, violence, voting... and then some fun stuff, like robots and spacemen. Perhaps looking back at some of theses ideas will help me come up with something i can build on for my thesis.

General Thesis Outline

I forgot I found some old papers from my senior year of undergrad including one that had to do with the thesis paper. Even though it's for an undergrad thesis, i think it still fits for the graduate thesis.
The suggested breakdown is given as such...

A. History
1. preparation and research needed to fully understand your topic
2. history of the general territory surrounding your area of exploration
3. specific history of the areas that relate most closely to your work
4. general area of influence related to the discovery of the pictorial, graphic or design language you can use

B. Theory
1. general theories that apply to your area of investigation
2. specific theories that apply to your own work

C. Ethics and social responsibility (when it applies)
1. personal: discuss your personal connection to ethical issues that arise in the study of your topic
2. Professional: discuss the issues professional ethics have or might be present in your area of study
3. Global: discuss the issue of social responsibility on a global level as it applies to your study. What are the widest ethical implications for the results of your thesis?

D. Practice
1. Discussion of the relationship of your work to the contemporary situation
2. particular areas of influence from the past or relationship of your project to similar projects
3. description of your own work or project and a brief history of its development


I guess we don't really have to have a ethical connection in our graduate thesis for Moore. That was more an requirement that Arcadia felt was important. But I actually like the idea of adding some ethical/social/political element to give the paper and work just a little more significance.

That being said.... what is my ethical/social/political statement that i'm connecting to my work. This is what i've been struggling with this whole time, finding a significance and purpose to doing work. What is my purpose? What is important to me?

my undergrad thesis was easier to figure out. once I settled on doing something about street art i knew the ethical issue had to do with graffiti and vandalism vs free artistic expression. I built a history of street art and its rise from subway tagging to political activism. I had key figures in the scene including Shepard Fairey. I presented examples of articles for and against it. I concluded with my own opinions on the distinction between straight up vandalism and art in urban settings. I also predicted that it would gain in popularity from subculture to main stream...(oh, and guess what, it did.) Accompanying the paper was a how to guide on viewing and creating street art that included a lot of information from the paper. And the thesis show had an interactive component that allowed viewers to make their own stickers and post them to a giant photo print of a city wall. I was pretty proud of the whole project. And I was really into it. I don't know why i'm having trouble getting into this thesis...

What are my passions, my frustrations, my motivations?

These are the questions I'm trying to ask myself in order to nail down my subject matter. I have a general idea of how I want it to look and how I want to go about doing it, but I'm stuck on the specifics of what it's about. There are a couple directions I could take and depending on those directions, there are different artists I can look to as inspiration and references for the paper. I'm afraid of starting one way with the paper and end up going another way with the work. But i need to figure it out soon so I can start getting something done.


passions/interests:
art, my cat, robots, dinosaurs, spacemen, bikes, mustaches, the ocean, coffee, food, dancing, music, traveling, sex, love, nature, vegetarianism, queer..ism..., equality, city dwelling

frustrations/fears:
art theory, ignorance, death and mortality, money/greed, inequality, trash, pollution

motivations/influences:
my mom, street art, activist art, pop art, Shepard Fairey, rebellion, friendship, love


I was trying to think back to the type of cultural environment that I grew up in. Like the defining teenage years. It was the end of the 90s.. 1999 i was a freshman in high school. the rest of my high school years were a weird birth of new millennium furturishness with a y2k scare that turned out to be nothing followed by 911 that turned into a whole other level of scared. I think it really shifted a lot of peoples perspectives on life and what is important. The following election brought a huge increase in voters, particularly that of young voters.
Post college seems a bit of a blur. a lot of the same old same old. and i think ambivalence set in with a lot of people...including myself. at least in terms of a political environment. That is until another election year came around and we voted our first non-white president. Earlier that same year was when i experience my first anti-gay protest while at a pride festival in Florida. It made me made but I also felt kinda sorry for these people that they had nothing better to do then to stand outside of a gay bar with messages of hate.
Since that election, there have been some wins and fails when it come to gay rights. Prop 8-fail. DADT repeal-win! The support for gay rights seems to grow everyday. the war in the middle east is almost something you forget about from time to time. you kinda remember when you start complaining about the economy being shit and wondering where all the money is going. corrupt politicians, corporate greed and oh...that war thats still happening. Occupy [insert city here] brought some of these issues to light. it might not have been the best way to bring about change. but it certainly got people to think about change.
which brings us up to the present. another election coming up. the end of the myan calendar approaching. we are at the edge of something. whether what follows will be good or bad has yet to be determined. oh i forgot to mention the series of unfortunate natural disasters. there is a bubbling build up on various fronts; environmental, political, social/ethical.
I'm at no loss for potential topics of significance. however, i have to figure out what's the most important to me in this moment or which would be the best to pursue for my thesis.