New

This past year was a rocky roller coaster of change for me. Some good, some bad. But it left me with disconnected feelings of self, home, and direction. I've been trying to operate under the guise that everything is alright, but it's not. I feel alone, empty, scared. The emotional mess bubbles just under the surface like a not-so dormant volcano. I hide it well. Distract myself with movies, video games, sleeping, cleaning the house, drinking with friends...anything to keep me from thinking inward. The past couple months, I've been living in a haze. Connected enough to take care of necessary tasks but just barely there on the surface.

The worst part about it all is that I haven't been putting enough into my art work. The whole reason I decided to leave my job and go back to school was so I could explore the one passion I've held on to my entire life, ART. And here I've been neglecting her, when she is in fact the key to my healing. The conduit for the bubbling emotions to be released and converted into peace. And how sad that the skills of my hands have gone unpracticed; left to slip slowly away.

But now it is a new year, new semester. I see it as a cue to hit the refresh button. Move on to a new chapter. No more excuses. No more neglect. No more distractions. Now it is time rekindle my love affair with the creative craft and reconnect with myself.