Puzzle Pieces...Fitting Together a Little More

I had a dream the other about my thesis and all I can really remember/make sense from it was that I was saying something about print vs paint.

So yeah... I've been using these urban images and more specifically images of things forgotten, over-looked, out-dated or in disrepair. And i've been trying to connect to the idea of process. These seemed like two different ideas at first but i think i've figured out how to connect them.
We live in a very digital world these days; digital cameras, tv screens, movie projections... and the CGI animation in those movies. So much of our lives is done on the computer now and very few is hand done. This means that fine art practices -- painting, drawing -- could potentially fall into the same category of outdated and over-looked. I myself am a culprit as I used the computer for graphic design and I take photos with a digital camera. But one of the reasons I went back to school for studio art was because I missed the hands on art making. There is something more satisfying in taking an actual pencil or paintbrush to paper or canvas.
Now how do i tie this all together? well, we joked about putting the palette on the canvas(or board...or whatever surface)... but in doing that, it draws attention to the fact that yes, i used a palette to mix paint. it is evidence of an artist and hand that was used to create it. What are some other ways I can draw attention to process? ... I suppose could include registration marks with a silk screen. maybe attaching a paintbrush to the canvas?
I'm still working through ways of showing process. And not sure if I'm trying to make a specific statement about digital vs hand done. I mean... am I thinking negatively about digital? ....I don't really want to. It's not like its evil. Maybe I'm just recognizing the death of painting...in a new way than its been thought about before. ....Looks like I'll be reading some Bois.

post crit vommit

i need to just do the ridiculous things i think of instead of pushing them aside because i dont know what they mean. i can figure out the meaning later.

when i do things i'm not particularly passionate about, it shows. and the work suffers.

so what am i excited about?
-dinosaurs, robots, space... science
-coloring books
-rebellion, subversion

logical step, subverted coloring books with dinos and robots... in space... ok, this probably wont be a thesis project but its something i have to do regardless.

more "serious" thought for thesis work... we joked about the palettes being more interesting and i stuck them on the painting... but what if i really did included the palette in the painting. ...consider looking at johns and rauschenberg more closely.. dada... art and objecthood. ...but also poking fun at the same time.

Questions to Consider

What do I love about art and making art?
What do I love about about the city?
How do these things inform each other? Work together? Become a source of inspiration in my work?

working it out...

Much of what I've done since starting grad school has been a series of experiments. This past semester was particularly focused on printmaking processes. But when it came to thinking about my thesis topic, I began to freak out and struggle with finding a subject matter. It's not that I didn't have any ideas, but that I had too many and couldn't decide where to focus. But then it came to me that the reason I make art is not about the subject matter, but about the process. The hands on, the tactility. The experience of experimenting and discovering new ways to create an image. The mistakes and happy accidents.
For me, art doesn't start from a theoretical idea or problem. It's not contingent upon obscure concepts. The concept is that there is no real intended concept. It's an intuitive response to what I see and feel.
I discovered this summer that there is a cathartic element to creating. I want to explore that more. I think I also need to pay attention to what I'm feeling as I'm working and try to put words to those feelings. Responses to the process being used and why I'm choosing to use that process.

thoughts about my work...

My mentor asked me to write something about whats going on in my studio, how I'm working, etc. This is what I sent her. I think I might be able to use some of this for an artist statement.

I'm focusing on process, the hands on methods of image making. Particularly printmaking processes, even more specifically, transfers. Photography, photocopy, monoprint, hand drawn, collage, paint are also methods i'm using. The physical processes are important to me for having a tactile connection to art making as opposed to on the computer which is where i found the design work i was doing lacking. I like getting a little dirty while i work.

The imagery i'm using comes from my personal experience with the world around me which includes mostly urban environments and elements. The things i'm most often drawn to in the city show a passage of time; accumulation, deterioration, decay, rust, lost, broken, layers, etc. At the moment i'm not trying to make any particular judgements but leave interpretation up to the viewer. However i do find a sad poetry in these types of elements. The use of text, whether print or handwriting, is also of interest to me. The print is a connection to my design background, the handwriting is a very personal form of expression. When using my own handwriting, I often use cursive because it take more time and consideration in forming each letter.

in my studio i have files of found images and materials, including notes that people have written to someone. I'd like to incorporate these in my work somehow. Again, a reflection of the world around me, but more focused on people and small glimpses into their lives. These plus photos I take while walking through the city serve as inspiration as well as source imagery.

an artist that is similarly inspired by urban environments and the poetry of its history is Catherine Mackey http://catherinemackey.com/statement.html She clearly is influenced my a couple of my favorites, Rauschenberg and Johns. But i have to be able to appreciate her work while still finding my own ways of expressing similar ideas. I also am looking more directly at johns and rauschenberg and trying to delvelop my own dada meets pop way of observing the world.

Art & Fear

As I was going through some old paper work from undergrad, I came across a response paper I wrote for my senior seminar class based on a book we had to read, Art & Fear. I apparently didn't like the book very much nor did i care for the assignment as is pretty evident by my tone and lack of proofreading. I decided to post it not only because it's kinda funny but also because it still is relevant to the way I work.

Sneak Peek Show

Our Sneak Peek show turned out pretty good. Thankfully we were able to pull an opening together and we had a fair number of people come out for it. Even though I've been taking a different direction with my current work, I thought I should still post the work from the show.

Artist Statement
The work I did in the Burren began as a series of experiments, each with an opportunity for exploration and discovery. What soon emerged was that the ideas I was experimenting with could be thought about in relation to two prefixes; trans -- across, beyond or through; and re -- once more, afresh or in return. More specifically, some of the words I thought about were transcend, transfer, translucent and rebirth, renew, reflect, remember. All of these words I was seeing in connection to the themes of tragedy, mortality, grief and the afterlife. Having experienced tragedy with the loss of my mother a little more than a year ago, these themes hold a personal meaning and significance to my grieving process. The video of the waves and the images of the sea glass represent visual metaphors for that process and the cycle of loss, grief and healing while the sunset series is part of my search for understanding the concept of heaven.

Octoprint

Today I demoed a transfer technique with wintergreen oil... I still need to photograph the results. So I'll post about this later when I have images to show.

But I finally got a chance to monoprint in class. This is the nifty little print I ended up with.

Transfering

One of the inherent things about printmaking is the transfer of an image. Transfers are a consistent theme in my work. I think I have a thesis topic forming. I'm not sure how to put it into words just yet but i think it will revolve around the transfer of image and possibly printmaking...

that being said... I've been learning new transfer techniques in my TA class that I'm excited to play around with in my studio. The other day I tried wintergreen oil and acetone transfers. They essentially liquefy the toner on a photo copy or laserjet print and allow for a transfer when you burnish it against a paper or surface. (I'll show examples when I take pictures) I'm going to have the chance to do the demo on this technique and test my teacher skills....eep!

Another method I'm going to experiment with tonight is an inkjet print on a waxy surface that lets the ink bead and stay wet so it can be transferred to paper. (examples to follow) For these I'm playing with my "Polaroid" style photos in photoshop with some layering and collage. I'm trying to combine images from nature and urban settings and build a tension of loss and destruction.

Photoshop File

Ink Jet Print

Photoshop File

Ink Jet Print

My results this round were...ok...I think I needed to wet the paper I was transferring to first. That should help it absorb the ink better. Plus I need a better burnisher. So I'll try printing again, perhaps tomorrow.

new semester!

'Sigh' I've been so busy lately i kinda forgot about my blog... So i guess it's time for an entry, especially since the semester has officially started and today was my first day with my TA class, Drawing into print. I'm really excited about this class cause not only is the teacher pretty cool, but the class seems like it will really help develop my ideas for thesis. I'll be learning some cool new techniques that will fit in with the other mixed media things I have been doing. I think it'll really bring things together.

Today's lesson was to think about positive and negative image, line quality and mark making with vinyl in response to an area around the room. I helped students find spots around the room and develop their ideas. Then I did one of my own. It was kinda rushed and smaller than I originally intended so it was a b*tch to cut out. But I think it came out ok as a starter sketch that i could play around with more and really develop the idea. One of the things I've been thinking about for a thesis topic is something with urban space and imagery. In contrast to that would be nature, still fresh in my mind from Burren and something I've played at before, especially the birds. Bird silhouettes have been done before but i thought a new spin would be to have an image inside. Something urban. I eventually decided on telephone wires because they could stand in as a symbol for communication, a key component to in a civilization. It's also interesting since telephone wires are usually a place for birds to hang out. And it was pointed out to me that the negative image of the telephone pole and wires almost look like organs for the bird.I think i'll play around with the concept more in illustrator and attempt translating it into vinyl again.

The students' assignment for next week is to pick a theme and bring in 20 items/images of that theme to be used as references for future projects. I'm going to do this assignment too because again, i think it will help develop ideas for thesis and give me somewhere to start.

oh man, I haven't updated in a few days....

Due to time slipping away quickly, I tried to focus on just a couple things to get done rather than having a bunch of half done projects. People seemed to really respond to the images of glass in the sky. I really like the metaphor behind it and that it's not too literal. So I rephotographed the glass again, this time with a better quality camera. (oh, did I mention I did this on a day where it got up in the 90s and I was laying under glass?)

The other thing I've been working on is a video with the waves I shot on the Aran Islands. I've been distorting and manipulating it slightly. Slowing it down. Mirroring it. It's very mesmerizing and relaxing. It's part of the same metaphor as the glass. Grieving. Healing. The ironic part is that it hasn't been very relaxing to make. Final cut proves frustrating and every time I change something I have to re-render to see if I made the right change or if I have to change it more. Ugh. There's also things i figured out and realized as I went that I wish I knew from the beginning. To the point I'm considering re-editing...

Urns...?

This was an experiment in combining transfers with illustration. One of the artists I looked at for my paper was Grayson Perry. I really liked the way he combined illustration and photos onto ceramic vases. It got me thinking about urns since I have been spreading my moms ashes and working with themes of death and mortality. I figure and urn would be a good platform for bringing all these things together. The only problem is that I don't really know much about ceramic or how to make an urn. hmm...

From the other side

I made a series of transfers from photos of places where I've spread my mother's ashes. The image is reverse from what I saw and photographed because it's supposed to be from her view on the other side. The images are distressed and worn to emphasize time and mortality.

Banshee Lake

Our teacher told us about this lake where supposedly there was a banshee sighting 30 years ago. So of course we had to go check it out. To get there you had to walk further and further into the country away from town and the roads got progressively smaller and rugged. When we got there it was really still and quiet. Like, too still. Then we heard this noise and turned to see a horse staring at us. A moment later another appeared and ran up to us. It was really odd. Almost as if they were trying to protect us from going any further. On the way back to the house, we stopped in a graveyard and played around with long exposures and light painting. Well, Ben did. I just watched and took a couple photos on my phone using me flashlight to illuminate a headstone.

More with glass

I started playing around with the seaglass today since the sun came out. I like the idea of light shining through it so i put some of the glass on a sheet of plexiglass and held it up to the sky and photographed it from below. It was kind of hard to see what i was doing though with the sun shinning in my eye. So then I tried scanning some using the film setting so that light would shine through. Those came out pretty cool but I was limited to the shape and size of the scanner window. I had more leeway with the ceramic pieces cause I could scan them as normal, but I kept them in roughly the same size and shape as the glass one.

Sea Glass

Finally! I've found what I've been searching for on the beach just about everyday since I've been here. Sea glass. Proper sea glass that's been polished smooth. I didn't realize the full significance of it to me until I found. You see, it's the perfect metaphor. When one experiences tragedy, it's like a glass is shattered into pieces and thrown in the sea. Then it's pounded by waves and sand and rocks like the cycles of grief, sadness, anger and frustration. Eventually, pieces wash up on the shore and the edges are no longer sharp and painful. They've been worn down and smoothed. But it's still in pieces. You're never really the same again. It just hurts less.
So far the glass that I've found on the beach hadn't been very worn down. Most of it looked like it had just been broken. But we had some rough wind and weather the last couple of days so that must have drudged up some good glass. Another metaphor...nuggets of awesome appearing after troubling times.
I really want to try to do something with these but I'm not sure what. I also found some cool pieces of ceramic with print on them.

Catharsis

The past couple days I've spent some time painting 4 squares. (really wish I brought my acrylic paints from home) I originally started them as a ground to put type and maybe a transfer of some of the photos i've been taking. But then they started to become their own little abstract expressionistic paintings. the scribble texture is reminiscent of Celtic knot-work, but it could also serve as a metaphor for my convoluted thought patterns.

I had the opportunity to talk to the dean of the school, Tim Jones, about this work and after some discussion it came out that the exploritive art process I go through is a way of working through my emotional issues including dealing with the loss of my mother. He suggested I take a big piece of paper and go to town with marks and scribbles. So I did. And it felt good. But the end result isn't necessarily what I want to be known as my body of work. I think it's something I'll continue as an therapeutic exercise to help me loosen up and get out some aggression. But I probably won't exhibit any of it...unless something amazing does come out of it. They're more about the process than the end result anyway. They also look better as photographs then in person for some reason.

Tim also showed me another creative cycle map to help me through the process.

Bambi's Revenge

We had an assignment to subvert a story or myth from our childhood. I had a hard time thinking of one until a couple nights before it was due. Out of nowhere I had the idea to do Bambi. I guess I can kind of relate to Bambi's loss of his mother. Mine wasn't shot by hunters but she was taken from me far sooner than she should have been. And I've felt a mixture of sadness and rage since her death and sometimes I wish I could declare war on cancer. So I guess that's where I got this idea of cute forest animals acting out in violence. It's a nice little ironic twist. I had a lot of fun drawing it. It would make a pretty fun project to do a whole coloring book of subverted Disney tales. Not sure if Disney would sue me for something like that though...probably.

Mono-fail

Well....I tried monoprinting but i didn't really have the right ink or equipment to make it work properly. So I ended up doing some acrylic painting. I found some squares of mdf board to do four small paintings. I'm going to try combining text with them as i mentioned a couple posts ago. I have 2 started already. One is going to have "I see Heaven in every sunset." I'm not sure what the others will be just yet but most likely more 6 word stories. I also might combine transfers with it as well.

Monoprint

I kinda realized today that I haven't really being doing much work that is responding to the landscape. I'm photographing it, and staring at it in awe, but I haven't really been creating anything that takes it a step beyond and connects me to the land. So I had an idea of using kelp and other things from the sea to make monoprints. I haven't really done monoprints before so it'll be a bit of an experiment...but that's how I roll anyway. From there I might work on top of the print adding text or photo transfer. I guess we'll see how the monoprints turn out. More on this later.

Ideas Brewing

The past couple days I've been coming up with a couple different projects. First of all, I am going to continue spreading my mom's ashes and making a documentation of it. Not sure how I'll present it as an art piece or even if i'll present it. I think it's just an important thing for me to do.

The sunsets are part of my search for a connection to Heaven and my mom. I'm trying to photograph the sunset each night at around the same time (between 9 and 10:30pm) but i've missed some nights and not every night is a worthy sun set. I'm not entirely sure what form the final presentation will take just yet.

With this search for Heaven I had an idea about interview people, possibly kids, asking what they think Heaven is or what it looks like. It could be an interesting social video project. And the next in that series would be an investigation into what is a "family." And questioning/challenging the traditional ideals. It would also be a way of trying to find peace and finding a way to deal with the disruption within my own family.

But on a more lighter note. I want to continue with 6 word stories as funny little truisms. This is a more immediate project that I can work on starting here and finishing back home. At the moment I'm thinking of things being very text based so looking at artists like Jenny Holzer, Ed Ruscha...I even like the use of text from one of the artists we saw today in at the Galway Arts Centre, Stephen Brandes. This also gives me a chance to exercise my humor so i'm not getting too depressed with thoughts of death and afterlife.
Another funny project is my flow chart/concept map on the creative process. It was suggested to me that I could make other concept maps for the other problems that I've been working through.


I've also been starting to think about my artist statement. Most of my work since I've started school could fall under the topic of lost & found, in various contexts of meaning. This could still be applied to the ideas i'm working on now. Being lost, experiencing lost. Searching, trying to find....myself, my path, my mom, etc. This may lead me to using Alice in Wonderland for my altered myth/story project for the space and place art history class. Possibility. What other stories involve being lost? Wizard of Oz?
more on this later.

Home is where my Mother is.

Another 6 word story and part of our mapping assignment for our art history class. I've begun to map the places that I've spread my mother's ashes, including places here in Ireland. It's become a therapeutic project. I'm reconnecting her to the land and sea in places significant to her as well as myself. Back home we still have ashes at the house and some buried in the cemetery of our church next to her father. We spread ashes down in Maryland near the house her parents had and in the bay she loved sailing in. These are places I have loved as well and are just as much a part of my childhood. And now spreading the ashes in Ireland is important as I told her I would take her with me on this journey. She loved visiting me when I went to Scotland and she wished she was able to come to Ireland...and in this way I have brought her here...though not the most ideal situation. But in various spots of beauty and peace, I've sprinkled a small bit of ashes, seasoning the land with her spirit. And I feel like I'm giving a piece of myself as well and connecting us both with the land and sea.

Sunset Ballyvaughan, Irleand July 5th, 2011 9:20-10:10pm

I see heaven in every sunset.

Ballyvaughan, Ireland June 26th, 2011 10pm(ish?)

Ballyvaughan, Ireland June 27th, 2011 9:49-9:57

Ballyvaughan, Ireland June 28th, 2011 8:53-9:16pm

Aran Islands (Inishmore), Ireland July 2nd, 2011 9:19-9:30pm